Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Ohio St. Player Found A Penny, Picked It Up, And Got Suspended For 8 Games

First, Terrelle Pryor and company got suspended in a tattoo scandal. (Sweet ink, brah.) Then, there was was that whole business about getting cars for free. Recently, head coach Jim Tressel and his career record of 106-22 were forced to resign in the midst of a cover up scandal that has drawn numerous comparisons to Watergate. Note: it is quite different from Watergate.

Now, one more scandal has rocked Buckeye nation. Freshman quarterback Junior Floyd will miss the first 8 games of the upcoming 2011 season for violating NCAA rules. Floyd was leaving the OSU practice facility on Monday when he spotted a shiny 2010 penny on the ground. After careful scrutiny, Floyd determined that the penny was indeed displaying heads. He then picked up the penny with the hope that it would provide him with favorable luck in the future.

After the careful consideration that accompanies so many NCAA decisions, NCAA president James William Bottomtooth III announced that Floyd was guilty of receiving improper benefits. "Simply put," said Bottomtooth, "Floyd has access to facilities that the OSU general student body lacks. He used that access to make a profit, and he must be punished for it."

Many Buckeye supporters are outraged that the punishment does not match the crime. According to Bottomtooth, however, "a 1943 penny recently sold for $1.7 million. That means that 68 years from now, Floyd received $1.7 million in improper benefits, $1,699,999.99 more than it appears."

Seems like sound logic to me.

1 comment: