Thursday, September 15, 2011

Fantasy Football 2011: Week 1

The second installment of the Sports Casual Fantasy Football League is underway and week 1 was action-packed as usual. The landscape of the NFL sure looks different in some spots, with Peyton Manning out, the Lions playing high-quality football, and the Bills winning by double digits. Here are the results from week 1:

Vanilla Thunder (1-0) def. Carson Palmer's 401k (0-1), 128-45
- With help from outrageous performances by Tom Brady and LeSean McCoy, Vanilla Thunder was this weeks top scorer. This team looks scary good. With skill players Tom Brady, Brandon Marshall, Julio Jones, Plaxico Burress, LeSean McCoy, Javid Best, and Aaron Hernandez, Vanilla Thunder has emerged as a top contender. On the flipside, Carson Palmer's 401k should be ashamed of himself, having basically taken week 1 off. Phillip Rivers and the Atlanta defense accounted for two-thirds of the team's points.

Gobias Industries (1-0) def. Team Trick or Vick (0-1), 117-62
- Gobias Industries had a very solid week one, with five players in double digits and two players above twenty. Wes Welker led the way with 28, coming in large part from a 99-yard receiving TD. Team Trick or Vick got 21 poitns from Mike Vick, but should be quite concerned about the rest of the team. No other player cracked 10, and Knowshon Moreno put up an alarming 2 points.

The Backup QB (1-0) def. Balls and Weiners (0-1), 106-103
- In what turned out to be an excellent matchup, the difference was Balls and Weiners' unorthodox decision to leave the kicker spot empty. The Backup QB got an outstanding performance from one of the best starting QBs in the NFL (Aaron Rodgers with 24). San Diego Charger Mike Tolbert led all scorers with 26. Balls and Weiners has a lot to be happy about, including 22 points from Baltimore's defense and 20 from the Ravens quarterback. He may need to trade for a running back, however, because it looks like the experts were right - LaGarrette Blount isn't that good. He put up just 1 point.

The Dream Team (1-0) def. CorporateOverlords (0-1), 112-65
- The Dream Team only got 3 points out of QB Sam Bradford, which makes a 112 point total that much more impressive. Kenny Britt (Kenny Britt?!?!) led the way with 25 points, part of a 53 point week for The Dream Team's wide receivers. CorporateOverlords saw a down week from just about every player. Rashard Mendenhall was at the top of the disappointment ladder with only 1 point while his Steelers got slaughtered.

Shonn of the Dead (1-0) def. Backside Georges^2 (0-1), 94-86
- Perhaps missing the draft won't turn out to be part of a championship formula this time around. The autopicked squad of Backside Georges^2 had a decent week, but it wasn't enough to top Shonn of the Dead's 94 points. Ray Rice lived up to the fantasy hype, scoring 26 points against a Steelers defense that, last I checked, was supposed to be pretty good. Fred Jackson had 11, which means a total of 37 points at the RB position. Not bad at all. Backside Georges^2 will need to find a better running back duo to compete for another title.

TitForTat (1-0) def. Stepdads (0-1), 92-55
- Despite having two wide receivers and one tight end that donned invisibility cloaks prior to their week 1 games, TitForTat managed to put up an impressive point total. Fantasy killer Drew Brees had 28 to lead the way, and a record-tying field goal helped Sebastian Janikowski put up 13. The Stepdads squad was just plain bad, with only the Houston Texans' defense breaking double digits.

Arian Foster's Hammy (1-0) def. Dream Team (0-1), 115-59
- In a big beatdown that was never in doubt, Arian Foster's Hammy put the hammer down against Dream Team (#2, that is). An outrageous 7 players put up 10 points or more, with 2 in the 20s. Quite surprisingly, San Francisco's defense led all scorers with 24 points. Big Ben was a colossal let down for Dream Team. Could this be the end of his tenure as an elite QB? I sure hope so.

**Special Awards**
Highest Scoring Team: Vanilla Thunder with 128. Watch out, league.

Lowest Scoring Team: Carson Palmer's 401k with 45. Dude. Do more.
Best Player: Vanilla Thunder's Tom Brady with 34. Beep Beep.
Worst Player: A bunch, with a bagel.
Best Matchup: The Backup QB (106) def. Balls and Weiners (103). A close, high-scoring matchup.
Worst Decision: Balls and Weiners, for an inability to navigate rosters. The kicker on your bench had 7...

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