Monday, December 19, 2011

Christmas Cheer

In this season of giving, it’s time to throw away your Christmas Bonuses by risking it all on things that are impossible to predict. But don’t worry, I’ve found 6 NBA bets* that will give you a real chance at cashing in. Let’s get to it.

Chris Paul alley-oop passes over/under Chris Paul field goals – I’m taking the over. Blake and DeAndre will get the majority and hopefully they'll bring back Jamario Moon so we can see more of this.

Houston Rockets will finish the season as the 9th seed in the west (50/1 odds) – The worst possible three-peat in basketball. Not only do you never make the playoffs, but you can’t even get a good draft pick. Houston’s only hope is to get Terrence Williams more minutes in the hope that he forgets how to play basketball every time he goes in the game. That or Hasheem Thabeet. Tanking at its finest.

Demarcus Cousins over/under .5 nights hanging out with Jimmer Fredette this year – I’m pretty sure these two have a total of zero things in common. Except for the fact that Tyreke Evans won’t pass them the ball.

Chris Bosh being traded to the Mavericks in order to sabotage their title hopes (25/1) – A similar bet involving Juwon Howard, the ultimate basketball curse, is also available for 5/1 odds.

Blake Griffin accidentally killing someone on the basketball court this year (10/1 odds) – Those odds can more than make up for the moral implications of cheering for Earl Boykins to take a charge against Blake.

Mascot most likely to get hurt first: whoever the new Philadelphia 76ers mascot will be (60/1 odds) - If someone doesn't trip the Ben Franklin mascot during his first NBA game, I want my money back.

*These bets may or may not be real

1 comment:

  1. Sixers mascot has got to be Ben. Hands down. Hip Hop was just foolish.