Monday, November 14, 2011

Holy Day Temporarily Moved from Sunday to Thursday This Week

For those who observe the Sabbath, it should be noted that the great Tim Tebow (Peace Be Upon Him) will not be glorifying God next Sunday. Due to a scheduling conflict, worshiping will instead take place Thursday night at 8:20 PM. If anyone was operating under the assumption that Sunday was chosen as the day for the Sabbath before Tebow (PBUH) began playing games on the holy day, you should be disabused of that erroneous belief posthaste. The Lord chose Sunday as His Holy Day because He knew that Tebow (PBUH) would one day grace the field and illuminate our minds for many Sundays to come. The Great Prophet Tebow (PBUH) will not be glorifying the Lord this upcoming Sunday, and so the Sabbath will need to be moved up to Thursday for the time being.
Therefore, in compliance with Satan's wishes, the Rapture will not take place next Sunday, the 20th, and is instead scheduled for Thursday, the 17th of November. Please adjust your prayers accordingly. (As a caveat, it should be noted that any prayers begging for a stat line better than a 2 for 8 performance will go unanswered.)

In addition, it should be noted that followers of the Cult of Revis will be affected in the same way due to this scheduling conflict.

1 comment:

  1. this is a tough one for me. i think my desire for the jets to lose outweighs my desire for tebow (pbuh) to be terrible. at least i'll get some happiness out of the jets blowing out the broncos though.