What the Kovalchuk?!

Smile, you just got heinously overpaid.

Sources have reported that highly touted free agent LW Ilya Kovalchuk has agreed to terms with the New Jersey Devils. The contract is reported to be 17 years and worth up to $150 million. Hold on, let me repeat that for emphasis. 17 YEARS!!! $150 MILLION!!! How does this happen?! He's 27 years old right now. Kovalchuk is now signed through his 44th birthday, and is going to average getting $8.8 million over the length of his deal. This is ludicrous.

Props to Kovalchuk for getting paid, but the real champ here is his agent, Jay Grossman. This guy somehow was able to convince an organization that his client would not just be productive until he was 44 years old, but be one of the most productive players in the league for almost 2 decades. Next time I'm about to do anything, I'm hiring Mr. Grossman to negotiate my terms. Who knows? Maybe next time I mow the lawn I'll get $90,000 guaranteed with weed whacking incentives for up to another $50,000 and an opt-out clause half-way through the yard.