Why I Miss Football

As the dog days of summer quickly approach us, all we can do is crank up the AC, hit the beach, and rock some seriously intimidating SPF.

And of course, we can count down the weeks, the days, the hours until September.

Why, you ask, would anyone in their right mind want summer to be over??? Because the weather gets cooler? Because Labor Day is such a bangin' holiday? Because I can't wait to go back to school???

Of course not. I can't wait for September for one simple reason: because on September 9th at 8:30 p.m, the Saints and the Vikings will kick off another NFL season. And I miss football. I miss football so much, I'd almost be willing to watch an entire preseason quarter.

Here are the reasons why:

I miss football because the World Cup is about to end - Soccer spoiled us with games almost every single day. When it's over, what will fill the sports vacuum left in its wake? Professional arm wrestling? (It's a real thing, that's the joke here.)

I miss football because I have no excuse to stay on my couch all Sunday long - And I love my couch. But not your couch.

I miss football because baseball sucks - Just ask George Carlin.

I miss football because LeBron James is a douche - Yes, I watched the TV special.

And finally, I miss football because it's been so long since I've seen anything like this - Get some.