Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Fantasy Football: Week 13

There's only one week left until the playoffs, and there are three divisions that are still up for grabs. This week, we saw two division lead changes and one team clinch a wild card berth.

The Backside Georges (12-1), def. NorthEastGrapepicker(0-12-1) 108-14
It was the best team vs. the worst team. No upset here. Aaron Rodgers led all with 26. Brett Favre posted a depressing -2.

SlapBetCommissioner (6-6-1), def. Bleeding Nipples (7-5-1), 96-92
In the most exciting matchup of the week, SlapBetCommissioner came away with an impressive win. Bleeding Nipples trailed by 5 going into the Monday night game, but got only 1 point from Rob Gronkowski (pretty remarkable, given the 45 that the Patriots put up.) Reggie Wayne led the charge for SlapBetCommissioner with 26. Bleeding Nipples have lost the division lead as a result.

Market St. Marauders (3-9-1) def. Hocus Pocus (7-5-1), 63-61
In a game that Hocus Pocus simply had to win, Market St. Marauders pulled off the upset. Market St. Marauders was able to overcome a few poor performances (-1 from the NYJ defense and 2 from Mark Sanchez) behind 28 points from Adrian Peterson. Buffalo Bills killed the chances of Hocus Pocus, as QB Fitzpatrick had 2, WR Johnson had 3, and RB Jackson had 4. 

Armchair Quarterback (9-4) def. Carolina Sex Panther (6-7), 93-70
With the win, Armchair Quarterback has clinched a playoff birth while officially eliminating Carolina Sex Panther from playoff contention. We'll find out next week if Armchair Quarterback will be a wild card team or the division champ. The win was fueled by six players in doubled digits.

MonStars (8-5) def. Captain Insano (4-9), 116-32
With this rout, MonStars keeps pace atop Coach Boone's Dictatorship. This one was never close. Greg Jennings led all with 24.

bitchesaintshit (5-8) def. Petey Jones. RB (9-4), 95-54
Petey Jones. RB. had a down week and bitchesaintshit had Tom Brady, leading to this upset. Only one player broke 10 points for Petey Jones. RB. (Josh Freeman with 11), while bitchesaintshit got 29 from Tom Brady and 18 from MJD.

TwoDat (7-4-2) def. Nick (2-11), 85-45
For the first time this season, TwoDat is a division leader. The win against the second worst team in the league came easily. TwoDat got great play at RB, where Michael Turner and Jamaal Charles combined for 27.

Shut Up Meg (8-5) def. vick's pooch kick (7-5-1), 109-66
In perhaps the most important matchup of the week, Shut Up Meg did not disappoint. Shut Up Meg now has the division lead, while vick's pooch kick is on the outside looking in. Peyton Hillis was mortal this week, only putting up 7 for vick's pooch kick. Shut Up Meg had seven players in double digits, with Drew Brees leading all (18).

**Special Awards**

Highest Scoring Team: MonStars with 116. Snaps.
Lowest Scoring Team: NorthEastGrapepicker with 14. *Sigh*
Best Player: Tom Brady, the most perfect human being on earth with 29.
Worst Player: Brett Favre with -2. Bring on Tavaris.
Best Matchup: SlapBetCommissioner (96) vs. Bleeding Nipples (92)
Worst Decision: Hocus Pocus, for trusting 3 Buffalo Bills

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