Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Fantasy Football: Week 1

It was an exciting first week in the Sports Casual Fantasy Football League. Congratulations to all teams that are now 1-0. Everybody who fell to 0-1, don't worry, it's a long season. For some of you (the 40 point club) it might be an even longer season. Here are the results:

Shut Up Meg def. Carolina Sex Panthers, 85-69
S.U.M. got it done at the WR position, with 21 points from Chad Ochocinco and 18 from Wes "my ACL is fine thank you" Welker.

Petey Jones. RB. def. Nick, 89-69
Despite just 4 points from Joe Flacco, Petey Jones RB took the game by quite a margin. Mendenhall lead all scorers with 19.

SlapBet Commissioner def. Hocus Pocus, 107-47
In the rout of the week, SlapBet Commissioner could do no wrong. Peyton Manning and Matt Forte combined for 58 points, enough to win the game on their own. The commissioner had a QB, WR, two RBs, and a kicker in double digits.

Bitchesaintshit def. NorthEastGrapepicker, 69-49
What car accident, Tom Brady said, as he put up 22 points. With one of the most depressingly old rosters (Brett Favre, Derek Mason, Joseph Addai) NorthEastGrapepicker didn't crack double digits with any player.

Bleeding Nipples def. Captain Insano, 91-40.
I'd be embarrassed too. The Eli Manning - Hakeem Nicks combo (really? that's a thing?) combined for 41.

MonStars def. Market St. Marauders, 98-82
This just in: Chris Johnson is really good at football. This week, he was 26-fantasy-points-good. Carson Palmer, who had 0 points at halftime, managed 19 in half 2. Market St. Marauders put up a valiant effort but fell a holding penalty short.

Armchair Quarterback def. Vick's Pooch Kick, 46-41.
This matchup deserves no more attention.

The Backside Georges def. Twodat, 103-64.
T.B.G. got everything it needed from Arian Foster, Aaron Rodgers, and Antonio Gates.

**Special Awards**

Highest Scoring Team: SlapBet Commissioner with 107 points. Snaps.
Lowest Scoring Team: Captain Insano, with 40. Really?? 40??
Best Player: The Back Side Georges' Arian Foster with 41 points. Did not see that coming.
Worst Player: Nick's Shonne Greene with -2. I'm speechless.
Best Matchup: Armchair Quarterback (46), Vick's Pooch Kick (41). Because both teams sucked [almost] equally. Incidentally, this was also the worst matchup.
Worst Decision: Vick's Pooch Kick, for starting an injured Beanie Wells over a healthy Ricky Williams. Williams would have landed 6 points, V.P.K. lost by a margin of 5...whoops.

That's it for Week 1. Six days to think about who to start next Sunday. Good luck in Week 2.


  1. It is Hocus Pocus' turn to be stomped on by the bad Manning brother.

  2. Shouldn't be too difficult if he puts up 47 again.

  3. When do I get to play a real team?